And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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