On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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