yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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