Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
