I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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