Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
