dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
