His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
