Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
