**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
