I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize