And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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