you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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