Im at strip club and am horny
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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