The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
