Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
