i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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