i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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