I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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