Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
