Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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