I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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