The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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