everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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