On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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