I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All the doctor said was why
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
