I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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