Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
