oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
