he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
