do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
