is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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