i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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