Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
