I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
