i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
