but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
