Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?