My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.