Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
handjob tips. give me some.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.