I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped