that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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