What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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