i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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