never play flip cup with pint glasses
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
True college students do jello shots in the library
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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