I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
