you guys were way drunker than both of me
nutella sex= disaster
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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