All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
