just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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