we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
