I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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