OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
