in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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