hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have demons in me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
