..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Acid is not a monday night drug
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
