On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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