Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
