ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Randomize
