We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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