He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
