I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
