Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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