Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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