btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
